MomWifeLittleLife

To the little boy who stole my heart, It's been only 2 years since you entered this world, but I have a hard time remembering what life was like before you. I always knew I wanted you. The moment we met in person for the very first time, was the best day of my life, but I was not prepared for how much of my heart you would hold in your tiny little hands.  I love spending all of my days with you. I love waking up to your little voice, even if sometimes that voice is a little louder than I'd like to hear it in the morning. I love cuddling on the couch with you. I love playing cars with you. I love your infectious and silly little laugh. I love seeing your creativity shine through your artwork. I love going on our little adventures. I love being able to see the world through your eyes. I love every moment we spend together. I know you wont remember these days, but I hope one day we can look at the millions of pictures I take, and reflect on how special it has been, for m

As I sit here in the middle of what seems like a forever episode of anxiety and depression, I feel compelled to write about it. I'm having a moment of clarity that may only last a few moments,  so I'll take advantage of it.  I battle with anxiety and panic disorder as well as depression on an almost daily basis. For as long as I can remember, I have fought with my brain. If you suffer from a mental health illness, you may understand that statement all too well. If you don't suffer from a mental health illness, (I envy you) but let me explain it for you. Every feeling I feel, every decision I have to make big or small, every conversation I have, every relationship I've had or try to create, every single thing I do, is critiqued. Not by my peers, not by my husband, or my family or my son, but by me. Some days are better than others. But when those days are not good, I feel like I'm walking on eggshells with myself. My mother always tells me ‘you are your own wors